November 11, 2015

• You Can't Make This Stuff Up

  It is not enough to say this guy is revolting. He is that, yes, but he is also pristine. There is a terrible perfection in his girlish shrieking. I've never seen anything like it. I hate to admit it, but I wanna repent right now. I wanna convert! I wanna dance the jesus minuet naked with him in the pale moonlight. Oh yeah.

  Pastor Kevin Swanson became a player in the Republican nomination pageant when he introduced Ted Cruz, Huckabee, and Jindal in the National Religious Liberties Conference in Des Moines, just before the last debate. Interviewed later, the candidates all said they did not know the pastor's message. They did not know, for example, that Swanson is deliriously anti-gay.

  At the entrance of the church I’d sit in cow manure and I’d spread it all over my body. That’s what I would do. And I’m not kidding. I’m not laughing. I’m grieving! I’m mourning! I’m pointing out the problem! It’s not a gay time! These are the people with the sores! The gaping sores!

  That is not a nice thing to do! Don’t you dare carve happy faces on open, pus-y sores! Don’t you ever do that! Don’t you ever do that! I tell you don’t do it! America needs to hear the message. We are messed up.

  You can't make this stuff up.

   

  • 1:05 pm
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