September 24, 2013

• who said that?

  Name the authors of these quotes. The answer key is at bottom.

  1. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

  2. "If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"

  3. "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

  4. "One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."

  5. "If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him."

  6. "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

  7. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

  8. "In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

  9. "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

  10. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

  11. "Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."

  12. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

  13. "Innuendo? That's what I always say: love flies out the door when money comes innuendo."

  14. "Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa."

  15. "The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

  16. "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

  17. "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

  18. "Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."

  19. "Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

  20. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

  ANSWERS: Click to expand.

  

  • 1:33 pm
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